2026 Complete Engagement Process Guide | From Proposal Visit to Engagement Banquet

2026 Complete Engagement Process Guide: From Proposal Visit to Engagement Banquet, All in One Place

You've decided to get married, but all the wedding customs are making your head spin?

You're not alone. Questions like "What should I bring for the proposal visit?" and "What's the difference between the Six Gifts and Twelve Gifts?" are enough to keep couples-to-be up at night. Not to mention, the elders on each side have their own preferences, and customs even differ between northern and southern Taiwan.

Don't worry — this article lays out the complete 2026 engagement process from start to finish. Whether you want to follow the traditional route or prefer a simplified engagement ceremony, just follow along and you'll be all set.

The First Step Before Engagement: How to Prepare for the Proposal Visit (提親)

Many people think the engagement is the first step, but there's actually an important stage before that: the proposal visit, known as 提親 (tí qīn).

Simply put, the proposal visit is when the groom's family formally visits the bride's family to express their intention to marry. The core purpose is for both sets of parents to sit down and discuss the details of the wedding.

When Should You Schedule the Proposal Visit?

It's recommended to arrange the proposal visit 12 to 15 months before the planned wedding date. Why so early? Because once the wedding date is set, you'll need to rush to book venues, wedding gowns, and photographers. Starting too late will leave you scrambling.

Traditionally, proposal visit dates should avoid the first and seventh months of the lunar calendar. Some elders prefer dates that include the number "6", symbolising good fortune. However, most modern couples simply pick a time that works for both families — no need to overthink it.

On the day itself, it's best to arrive in the morning and wrap things up before noon. This arrangement respects tradition while keeping everyone from getting too exhausted.

Who Should Attend the Proposal Visit?

The number of attendees should be an even number, with six being the most common. This typically includes the groom-to-be, the groom's parents, and a few important elder relatives.

Here's a small but important detail: traditionally, it's not advisable to bring relatives with the surname character "姑" (gū), such as paternal aunts (姑姑) or sisters-in-law (小姑). While modern couples may not mind, it's safer to avoid this if the bride's family is more traditional.

Additionally, if a matchmaker is involved, they would accompany the group. The matchmaker acts as a mediator between the two families, helping to smooth communication and keep things running smoothly.

How to Choose Proposal Visit Gifts?

The gifts don't need to be extravagant — sincerity and symbolism are what matter. Common choices include apple gift boxes (the word for apple sounds like "peace" in Chinese), round cakes (symbolising completeness), fruits, pastries, and tea.

Choose gifts with elegant packaging. You don't need to spend a fortune, but you want the other family to feel your thoughtfulness.

What Should Be Discussed During the Proposal Visit?

This is the heart of the proposal visit. Both sets of parents will discuss the following matters:

Engagement and wedding dates, arrangements for the bride price and dowry, the contents of the engagement gifts (Six or Twelve Gifts), the wedding banquet format and scale, the number of wedding biscuit boxes, and whether Chinese horoscope matching is needed.

A helpful tip: it's best for the couple to communicate with their own parents beforehand. That way, everyone has some expectations going in, and the discussion will go much more smoothly.

What's the Difference Between the Six Gifts and Twelve Gifts?

After the proposal visit is settled, the next step is preparing the betrothal gifts. You've probably heard of the "Six Gifts" (六禮) and "Twelve Gifts" (十二禮), but what exactly is the difference?

In short, the Twelve Gifts are the complete traditional set, while the Six Gifts are the simplified version. Most modern families opt for the Six Gifts, which preserve the spirit of the customs without being too cumbersome.

The Groom's Six Gifts Checklist

Wedding Biscuits (喜餅): Distributed to the bride's relatives and friends to announce the happy news. Western-style wedding biscuits are most common these days. Be sure to confirm the number of boxes needed with the bride's family.

Traditional Chinese Cakes (大餅): A traditional gift symbolising completeness. Some families combine these with the wedding biscuits, while others prepare them separately.

Bride Price & Gold Jewellery (聘金與金飾): The bride price is divided into a "grand betrothal" (大聘) and "small betrothal" (小聘). The most common practice today is for the bride's family to accept the small betrothal and return the grand betrothal (keeping only the red envelope). Gold jewellery — necklaces, bracelets, and more — is prepared by the groom's family and put on the bride by the future mother-in-law during the betrothal ceremony.

Incense and Firecrackers (禮香炮燭): Used for ancestral worship, symbolising the joyful announcement of the union. These can usually be purchased together when ordering the wedding biscuits.

Six-Colour Sweets (六色糖): Including winter melon candy, rock sugar, kumquat cake, assorted sweets, dried longan (福圓), and peanuts. The dried longan represents the groom's eyes — traditionally, the bride's family cannot accept them, but the bride can secretly eat two, symbolising "keeping an eye on the groom."

Head-to-Toe Gifts (頭尾禮): Personal items for the bride from head to toe, such as clothing, bags, and shoes. Many modern couples choose to shop together, or simply substitute with a red envelope.

Want to Go Grander? Upgrade to the Twelve Gifts

Building on the Six Gifts, you can add wine (typically 24 bottles, symbolising peace through all 24 solar terms of the year), vermicelli noodles (symbolising longevity and the thread of destiny), glutinous rice and brown sugar (for making tangyuan, symbolising reunion), pork (whole pig, half pig, or pork leg), capons or ducks (symbolising vitality), and canned goods or dried delicacies (such as bird's nest or abalone).

Should you prepare six or twelve gifts? There's no standard answer — the most important thing is to discuss with both families. The form of the customs can vary from family to family, but the heartfelt intention behind them is what truly matters.

How Does the Bride's Family Prepare Return Gifts?

The bride's family also needs to prepare return gifts. The most common approach is to return half of the groom's betrothal gifts, plus head-to-toe gifts for the groom (suit, leather shoes, belt, etc.) and gold jewellery.

The future mother-in-law on the bride's side will put a necklace on the groom during the betrothal ceremony as a meeting gift. This is a particularly heartwarming moment, representing the bride's family officially welcoming the groom as one of their own.

How Much Is the Bride Price? A Look at Regional Differences

When it comes to the bride price, this is probably the topic that makes couples-to-be the most nervous.

Here's the bottom line: there's no "standard answer" for the bride price — it all comes down to communication between both families. However, understanding the general range in different regions can help guide your discussions.

In northern Taiwan, things tend to be more flexible, with plenty of room for negotiation. In the south, there's generally more emphasis on formality and etiquette, so the amounts may be higher. But in recent years, more and more families have stopped fixating on the numbers, viewing the bride price as a "symbol of sincerity."

Common practices include: accepting the small betrothal and returning the grand betrothal, converting the bride price into dowry or honeymoon funds for the couple, and some families even choosing not to accept any bride price at all, focusing instead on building the future together.

Regarding the timing of the bride price delivery, some families choose to handle it in advance, while others include it in the betrothal ceremony day. It's recommended not to cram everything into a single day — arranging things ahead of time makes the overall engagement process much smoother.

The Complete 10 Steps of the Betrothal Ceremony (文定儀式)

The big day has finally arrived! While the betrothal ceremony has many steps, each one carries the heartfelt blessings of the elders. Understanding the process means you won't panic on the day.

Step 1: Groom's Ancestral Worship and Departure

Before setting off, the groom worships his ancestors at home, informing them that he is heading to the bride's family for the engagement. The betrothal gifts are packed in red wooden boxes, and firecrackers are set off before departure. Both the number of cars and attendees should be even numbers, avoiding 4 and 8. The most common arrangement is 2 or 6 cars with 6 or 10 people.

Step 2: Arriving at the Bride's Home with Firecrackers

As the motorcade approaches the bride's home, firecrackers are set off to announce their arrival, and the bride's family responds with their own firecrackers. Upon arrival, the matchmaker exits the car first, and the groom exits last. A younger member of the bride's family presents a tray of apples or oranges to greet the groom, who touches the fruit and gives a red envelope in return.

Step 3: Presenting Gifts and Introducing Relatives

The groom's relatives take their seats in order, and the matchmaker offers auspicious words before introducing the relatives from both families. Think of this as the official "meet and greet" between the two families.

Step 4: Displaying and Handing Over the Betrothal Gifts

The attendants bring in and display the betrothal gifts one by one. The bride's family accepts the gifts and gives red envelopes in return. The matchmaker serves as the intermediary, formally handing over the grand and small betrothal amounts and gold jewellery to the bride's parents. After the gifts are received, offerings are arranged on the ancestral altar.

Step 5: Serving Sweet Tea

The "good fortune woman" (好命婆) guides the bride out to serve sweet tea to the groom's guests. The tea is typically made with longan and red dates, and the number of cups must match the number of guests being served. After serving the tea, the bride retreats while the groom's guests place red envelopes in their cups. The bride then returns to collect the cups.

There's no set amount for these red envelopes, but they're typically an auspicious even number.

Step 6: Stepping on the Round Stool and Exchanging Engagement Rings

This is the highlight of the entire engagement ceremony. The bride sits on a tall chair in the main hall with her feet resting on a low stool, symbolising nobility and good fortune.

The ring exchange order is: the groom puts the ring on the bride first (typically on the right hand middle finger), then the bride puts the ring on the groom (left hand middle finger). Out of courtesy, the ring is only pushed to the second knuckle, not all the way down. The matchmaker offers blessings alongside the exchange.

Want to make this moment even more perfect? A dazzling diamond ring can truly elevate the betrothal ceremony. When selecting a ring, consider the bride's hand shape and everyday style so it's both comfortable and beautiful to wear.

Step 7: Putting on Gold Jewellery and Changing Titles

The future mother-in-law puts a necklace, bracelet, and other gold jewellery on the bride, and the bride's mother also puts a necklace on the groom, all as meeting gifts. Afterwards, both sides formally change their forms of address. The groom addresses the bride's family members by their new titles, and the bride does the same for the groom's family — from this moment on, the two families become one.

Step 8: Ancestral Worship

The bride's maternal uncle lights the incense and passes it to both sets of parents and the couple, informing the ancestors that the engagement is confirmed. The groom's family should prepare a "candle-lighting gift" red envelope for the uncle.

Step 9: Bride's Family Return Gifts

After the ancestral worship, the bride's family presents return gifts to the groom's family, including head-to-toe gifts, the returned grand betrothal, and some of the original gifts.

Step 10: Engagement Banquet

With the betrothal ceremony complete, it's time for the engagement banquet! The bride's family hosts a feast for relatives and friends from both sides, and the groom's family should prepare a "table-pressing" red envelope.

There's a tradition to keep in mind: the groom's relatives typically leave after the seventh course (the fish dish) is served, symbolising leaving the bride's family with "abundance" (the word for fish, 魚, sounds like "surplus," 餘). When leaving, the groom's relatives should also avoid saying goodbye to each other, to avoid the implication of "doing this again."

Want to Simplify the Engagement Process? These Methods Are Super Practical

Now that you understand the full traditional process, you might be thinking: "Is there a simpler way to do this?" Of course there is.

More and more modern couples are choosing to simplify the engagement process, and legally, there's no requirement to have an engagement before marriage. As long as both families agree, you can arrange things however you like.

Simplified Option 1: Same-Day Engagement and Wedding

Combine the engagement and wedding ceremonies into a single day. Complete the betrothal in the morning, the wedding procession in the afternoon, and the banquet in the evening. This way, guests only need to come once, saving time and effort.

Many hotels and wedding venues offer all-in-one services, allowing you to handle everything from engagement to wedding in the same location.

Simplified Option 2: Skip Some Traditional Steps

Steps like the groom's ancestral worship, the gift presentation, the cake offering, the bride's ancestral worship return, the biscuit distribution, and the groom's ancestral report can all be omitted depending on the situation. Just keep the core elements — ring exchange, gold jewellery, and tea serving.

Simplified Option 3: Let the Hotel Handle Everything

Choose to hold the engagement ceremony at a hotel, eliminating the need to travel between locations. Hotels typically provide a bridal suite, allowing the entire process to be completed from start to finish at a single venue, greatly reducing the hassle of moving around.

Regardless of which option you choose, the most important thing is to communicate thoroughly with both sets of parents. Help the elders understand your perspective while respecting the parts they care about, and you'll find the perfect balance.

Engagement Day Timeline: See the Entire Schedule at a Glance

The biggest fear for couples preparing for their engagement is feeling flustered on the day itself. Here's a reference timeline to help you stay on track:

7:00 AM — Groom's side checks and counts the betrothal gifts; the wedding team (photographer, videographer) gets into position

8:00 AM — Groom's side departs for the bride's home with the Six Gifts

8:30 AM — Arrival at the bride's home, firecrackers and welcome

9:00 AM — Gift presentation, introductions of relatives, displaying betrothal gifts

9:30 AM — Sweet tea serving

10:00 AM — Ring exchange, gold jewellery, changing of titles

10:30 AM — Ancestral worship, bride's family return gifts

11:00 AM — Group photo of all attendees

12:00 PM — Engagement banquet begins

The above schedule is for reference only — actual arrangements should be adjusted according to the auspicious timing agreed upon. It's recommended to leave a 30-minute buffer to avoid delays from any unexpected hiccups.

Engagement Banquet Etiquette You Should Know

The engagement banquet has some differences from a regular wedding banquet, and knowing them in advance will help you avoid any faux pas.

In northern Taiwan, the engagement banquet is typically more formal and serves as the main occasion for hosting guests. In the south, the focus tends to be on the homecoming banquet (歸寧), with the betrothal day featuring a smaller family gathering.

Regarding the table-pressing gift, there's no fixed amount, but remember to place it in a red envelope and hand it to the bride's family before the groom's relatives leave.

As for the wedding biscuits, they are mainly distributed by the bride's family to their relatives and friends. The bride herself should not eat her own wedding biscuits — tradition holds that doing so may imply "remarriage." The groom's family only takes the return-gift biscuits and distributes them to a few close relatives.

5 Engagement Taboos You Need to Know

While modern couples are more flexible about customs, it's still good to know certain taboos — at the very least, to avoid upsetting the elders.

First, the number of attendees and cars should always be even, avoiding 4 and 8.

Second, when entering the bride's home, don't step on the threshold. In traditional customs, this represents respect for the bride's family.

Third, the engagement ceremony should ideally be completed before noon. After 1:00 PM is considered "yin" time, and some families may feel uneasy about this.

Fourth, when the groom's side leaves, they should not say "goodbye" to the bride's family, to avoid the implication of "having to do this again."

Fifth, when inserting incense sticks, do it firmly in one motion without reinserting. Reinserting is considered a taboo that implies the possibility of remarriage.

How to Choose an Engagement Ring? Tips for Couples-to-Be

The ring exchange during the betrothal ceremony is the most romantic moment of the entire event. A beautiful and meaningful engagement ring can make this moment truly unforgettable.

When selecting an engagement ring, consider the following:

Does the bride prefer a minimalist or glamorous everyday style? What ring setting best suits the width of her fingers? If you plan to pair it with wedding bands later, will the designs complement each other?

Additionally, having some basic diamond knowledge is very helpful. GIA-certified diamonds are graded according to the 4Cs — cut, colour, clarity, and carat. Understanding these fundamentals will help you make a smarter choice.

Begin Your Radiant Journey

An engagement marks the official beginning of two families coming together, with every step filled with blessings and anticipation.

Want to learn more about the wonders of diamonds? Explore our GIA Diamond Knowledge Centre, or browse our Engagement Ring Collection to find the one that's destined for you. Ready to take the next step? Book a store visit today and let our professional consultants recommend the perfect match for you.

References

• GIA - Gemological Institute of America
• GIA 4Cs Diamond Education
• Ministry of the Interior, Taiwan — Modern National Wedding Guidelines

Editor's Note

Having accompanied friends through several engagement ceremonies, I've come to realise that the most moving part is never the gifts or the grandeur. It's that moment when both families sit together, eyes slightly misty yet smiling, saying "From now on, we're family." Customs are the form; love is the essence. Wishing every couple-to-be a warm and beautiful engagement.